Tabletop Tales#1: Grand Theft Shipyard

Welcome to a new mini-series that i’m calling Tabletop Tales. Basically, it’s a series where i’ll be sharing funny stories or experiences from a variety of tabletop games i’ve played, in the hopes that you guys find them interesting and/or amusing. Some of the stories will be funny, where others will just be cool or fun moments of utter, epic competence… or a lack thereof. Anyways, let’s set the stage for this story.

It’s nighttime in the city of Silverpoint. A city held and run by an organization known as the Order of the Moon, which consists of soldiers, clerics, paladins, and a number of werewolves. Their prime directive is to eliminate evil, especially things like Witches, Vampires, etc. but not exempting criminals. They are cruel, strict, and extremely efficient, especially because they have GUNS.

A tavern, in the city of Silverpoint. Gustav, the Barbarian, Llana, the Witch, and myself, Rahav, the elf-turned-vampire Blood Mage. We had entered the city in order to find a quest to do to make some quick cash to fund our travels, but it had taken longer than we’d thought, clearing a giant rat infestation from the city’s sewers, and the gates are now shut. Basically, we’re trapped in a city full of people who want to murder us if they find out who we are.


Anyways, so we’re at the tavern, Llana and I are drinking lightly, but not Gustav, oh no. He gets absolutely hammered, and when the barkeep refused to get him another drink, he took the man and smashed his head in on the tabletop. The few other patrons run screaming into the night, and Llana and I know we’ve got to get out of there.

Well, we slip out of the tavern and hide in a dark alleyway, and make a plan. The gates are closed, but the port is still open. If we can get to the port, we can steal a ship and make a clean getaway. Unfortunately, Gustav had other ideas. As we were making our plan and sneaking into the shipyard, he’d gone upstairs and smashed the barkeep’s safechest open, stuffing his pockets with the poor man’s gold. He then grabbed a few casks of ale, one under each arm, and stormed out of the tavern towards the shipyard, drunkenly shouting “Hey you guys! Look what I found!”

… Needless to say, we got discovered. I tried to make a break for the nearest ship, but was peppered with gunfire from a platoon of Order of the Moon soldiers that had just arrived at the docks. I fell into the water and stayed there, hiding underneath the dock at 2 hit points as the judiciary mage, Sentenraelis, unleashed hellfire on my companions, knocking them out and dragging them away to prison.

After healing myself up a bit, I began to make my way through the sewers, searching for a way to break into the jail before my companions were executed (which was scheduled for the next morning.) Thankfully, due to some great CON saves on their parts, they managed to wake up and heal themselves up a bit.

Llana remembered she had the Enlarge spell, and cast it on Gustav, who became so large he burst his cage open, and then easily freed Llana. Plowing through several waves of soldiers that came to stop them, Gustav and Llana managed to retrieve their belongings. Sentenraelis, however, decided he needed to get the heck out of dodge and get some reinforcements. He made his way to a secret exit from the jail into the sewers, but there encountered me.

After a short clash of magic, I managed to grapple him, sinking my fangs into the mage and using the life drain to refill my dwindling hit points. At about this time, Gustav arrived, with Llana not far behind. Sentenraelis, pinned and immobile by me, was easy pickings for the now-gigantic barbarian, who grabbed him and… Well, you guy remember the Hulk and Loki in The Avengers? Basically that, except Sentenraelis is just a regular dude.


After reducing the mage to strawberry pudding, we busted from the sewers back into the bay, where a merchant ship had just begun casting off. We jumped aboard, tossed all unnecessary crew members overboard, and used the two barrels of ale, along with some clever magic, to set fire to the rest of the docks, sailing away to freedom as the sun began to rise.

Yes, this was absolutely a true story. it was a highly entertaining afternoon filled with both frustration and triumph. It’s moments like these that really make me love Tabletop Gaming, it can be so rewarding to play, especially when you can really get into character and do things that might not be sensical, but would be logical for the character to do. It’s awesome.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, it was pretty fun to reminisce on this game that happened a few years ago now. Let me know if you want me to do more of these posts, and please tell me if you have any fun stories from D&D or otherwise!

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